You break it you buy it
by MiioMiio
Summary: [AU] [SasuNaru] 'Sorry Sasuke, you're stuck living with Naruto for the next month as his punishment for rendering you immobile. If you need anything, just ask.' ... 'His house is kneedeep in empty ramen bowls...' 'You'll live.'
1. Chapter 1

_**SORRY GUYS! The last one accidentally got deleted, so I had to repost this! o.o**_

_**A/N**__: I figured it would be safe to take on a second story. :) This idea has been floating around in my head for a while now, and I just decided to let it free. First chapter's short, but I just wanted to show you what it was going to be about. ;D_

_Neaty cleany Uchiha being forced to live with a messy messy Uzumaki. Ooooh deeeeaaarr!  
_

_**Disclaimer**__: Just borrowing them._

----

He pushed him off the rope without even thinking twice about it. He had pushed the idiot off the rope, and now he was unconscious on the floor, blood pooling on the ground around his head, and one of his legs in an unnatural position. He couldn't stop trying to figure out _what_ possessed him to do something so stupid. But he did it, and it was his fault.

He was going to be in _so_ much trouble.

Naruto couldn't stop chewing on his bottom lip, shifting from foot to foot, hands twitching nervously. He took a deep shaky breath, stuffing his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking.

He almost wanted to go over and make sure that he was all right, but his already-damaged pride, and the fact that Sasuke's unconscious form was absolutely surrounded by all of the other students and the teacher prevented it.

He was unquestionably in so much freaking trouble…

There were sirens outside of the building.

Oh God… Sirens.

This was really serious.

His nervousness grew. _WHY_ did he do that?

He brought his hand up to run it through his hair, not able to stand still, doing his best to enjoy the moment he was being ignored. He knew for a fact that as soon as Sasuke was taken away, all negative attention would be focused on him. It's not like he actually _meant_ to hurt him, he just…

He felt something dribble down his chin, and brought his finger to wipe it away. It was blood. He must have bitten too hard into his lip…

He swallowed, not quite sure what he should be doing. He wondered why he was so anxious. Uchiha was going to be okay… As much as he hated to admit it, if anyone could fall 15 feet, bump their head, land oddly, and still be okay… it was…

It was probably, maybe Sasuke…

But he hadn't been ready, and Naruto knew it.

Oh God.

As two or three men clad in white medical scrubs came in, and disappeared into the crowd of students, Naruto went cold. What if something really serious happened? What if he really, really hurt him? Things would get very complicated for him. He promised his foster father that he would be on his best behavior this year. He swore that he wouldn't do anything stupid, as long as he could help it. But there he was, standing awkwardly to the side, watching his stupid mistake develop more and more with every passing minute. His foster father would no doubt be one of the first to know.

He didn't like Sasuke at all. They had practically hated each other since day one of being in that school. They were always at each other's throats, always competing, always trying to outdo each other in any way that they could. It had always been that way. And when he finally outdid Sasuke, it was a big mess up on his part. It not like he could blame the other boy, anyway. The only thing his classmates saw was Naruto shoving Sasuke off the rope. That gave them everything they needed.

As much as he disliked every aspect about Sasuke… he didn't want him to be permanently impaired or anything. Any smugness that he had by pushing Sasuke off of the rope in gym was quickly replaced by horror when he heard a dull 'Thud', and noticed Sasuke lying on the floor beneath him.

He hadn't been able to catch himself.

It was really stupid of him, and he recognized it. Now he just had to wait for the abuse of everyone else. But he wouldn't run away, he had to… you know, live up to his mistake and make it right. But he couldn't do anything. The most he knew how to do was put on a band aid… He doubted VERY much that a band aid would have helped much at this point.

They had been racing up 15 feet of rope in gym class. That was it. Completely harmless. Just a race to the bell at the top of the rope. Sasuke was winning, though, and Naruto quickly saw the opportunity to strike… he hardly had time to think before he stretched over, and shoved, but now he wish he had. He knew he had taken the rivalry too far the moment he watched Sasuke fall. There was no way he could pin the blame on Sasuke not being quick enough to save himself.

It was times like that, that made him want to sink through the floor, and pretend it had never happened. Things were fine ten minutes ago. But now, they definitely weren't.

They were taking Sasuke out on a stretcher now, and he was most definitely unconscious. A few of his devoted fan club members ran after him in panicked worry, while most of the class watched anxiously.

The teacher, Kakashi, was talking calmly to one of the paramedics. His calmness was almost relieving in the situation, but he still found himself to feel… guilty.

It had been a long time since he found himself feeling guilty over much of anything. He didn't like second-guessing himself, which is where guilt often began.

People's glares slowly started to shift to him. He shifted his weight nervously, losing any confidence that he had before, and lowered his gaze to the floor. He could feel their stares, but did his best to focus elsewhere. There was still blood where Sasuke had fallen. He must have hit his head pretty hard. His stomach knotted up uncomfortably at the thought. If something really horrible went wrong, he would be the one to blame.

"NARUTO! WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU!?"

Naruto jumped, but kept his eyes down. The voice belonged to Sakura; one of Sasuke's devoted admiring onlookers, and Naruto's almost secret crush. Her voice was livid and shaking, and he had no doubts that her expression matched her tone perfectly. She continued.

"HE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO YOU THIS TIME! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMPLETELY UNPROVOKED? IT WAS UTTERLY DESPICABLE! WHAT KIND OF ILLOGICAL THOUGHT WAS CROSSING YOUR MIND WHEN YOU DECIDED TO DO THAT!? OH LET ME GUESS- NOTHING!" Her voice echoed throughout the gym, and not once did Naruto have the courage to look up at her. The tie in his stomach tightened considerably with her rant. Sakura didn't take crap from anyone, and stood up for the ones she cared about, and he found himself admiring her for that. But when it was protecting someone like Sasuke… he couldn't help but feel a bit of annoyance.

She wouldn't be yelling at Sasuke if he pushed _him_ off of the rope.

"Sakura, that is enough." Kakashi's calm voice cut through the silence in which Sakura was getting ready to yell again. Kakashi turned to his classmates."Class, you are dismissed for today. Naruto Uzumaki, please come with me."

The entire class was chattering quietly among themselves as they walked to their respective locker rooms. He could feel their stares and glares against him. He knew what he did was wrong, damn it, why did they have to accentuate it?

He tried to shake off their stares, and followed Kakashi who was walking leisurely to the double doors leading to the hallway. There was no doubt about it, they were on their way to the headmaster's office.

---

The walk to the headmaster's office was silent and awkward with no interaction, save Kakashi sending him an occasional half-lidded glance in which Naruto made special care to heatedly look away from.

It was a dreary, dark, tiring day. The campus was wet with rainwater, and students he saw out of the windows made their way to their destination with backpacks held over their heads, and hoods up.

It was cold inside the building, and the hallways were wet. He had half a thought to go back to his gym locker and get his jacket, but obviously he had to go an explain the 'accident' to the headmaster, his father, and no doubt Kakashi would stick around to listen in. A lot of the time, he felt like he was always under a microscope when with Kakashi. It was almost as if he intrigued him in some way, like an animal at the zoo.

Every time Naruto opened his mouth to speak, Kakashi would listen intently, as if listening to something important that he would need someday. Whenever he made some sort of rash move, Kakashi was there watching, fascinated. He wondered why, but figured that it was just the way he was. He was very observing.

And weird.

Definitely the weirdest teacher on campus… From his personality, to his appearance.

Naruto looked at him from the corner of his eye. He was tall, lean, and always had an uninterested expression on his face. One of his eyes was always covered with a simple black band, but the one that was exposed was always half closed. His hair was dark gray and at an odd angle, but despite the, he was not old at all. He couldn't possible be past his late 20's. He walked with somewhat of a tranquil slump, with his hands in his pockets, staring ahead.

In no time at all they had made it to the headmaster's office. Kakashi took a step forward and rapped twice on it gently with the back of his knuckles.

"Tsunade, Naruto and I need to have a talk with you."

After a moment of hearing rustling papers from behind the door, there was a strong, yet flustered female voice from behind the door.

"Come in!"

Wasting no time, Kakashi opened the door and walked in, followed by Naruto.

The room certainly was not new. He was one of the biggest troublemakers in the whole school as a child, and as he grew older, his visits were less frequent, yet when he was sent there, it was usually for something quite bad.

Tsunade, the headmaster frowned at him with painted red lips.

"What did you do this time, Uzumaki?" Her eyes narrowed, her attention going from a piece of paper in front of her, directly on him. Her blonde hair was pulled over one shoulder, and her fingernails were tapping impatiently on the desk.

Naruto felt his gut clench again, and looked back at Kakashi, as if asking for help, but Kakashi only raised an eyebrow at him.

"Well…?"

She must have been in a bad mood… this was not good for him.

He took a deep breath, trying to figure out how he should put it. He felt shaky and unsure. For all he knew, he _killed_ Sasuke… How was he supposed to explain something like that?

"I… er…" He sounded as unsure as he felt. "Uchiha-… he-… I pushed-… in gym-… Rope-… and he fell, and then Kakashi called the paramedics, and they came, and now he's-…" He paused, tongue not quite working as confidently as he wanted.

Tsunade shifted her stare at Kakashi.

"In gym they were racing up the ropes. Naruto pushed Sasuke off, and he's now getting medically treated." He summed it up quickly, and quietly.

Tsunade once again went back to staring hard at Naruto.

"You PUSHED another student off of a rope!? NARUTO! What were you thinking!?"

"I… He was there… and I… I was about to win… and he was almost there too… and I thought that I could just stall him for a moment… but he fell, and I didn't-…." He was truly at a loss for words. Tsunade actually stood up, hands flat on the desk, glare menacing.

"You know that, that kind of behavior it not tolerated! There is no way that you're going to get out of this unpunished, Uzumaki! That was by FAR one of the most hardheaded things that you have ever had the nerve to do before!"

Naruto had felt defeated the moment he walked into the door. There was no winning this fight.

"I know…"

"Detention for the rest of the year! Cafeteria duty! Scrubbing the bathroom with a TOOTHBRUSH! No more gym class! No more-"

Kakashi cut her off.

"Tsunade, if I may…"

Tsunade glanced at both of them harshly, before slowly sitting down, and motioning for him to continue.

"The paramedic I was speaking with before they took him to the hospital wing said that the most damage he could see him having was a concussion, and a definite broken leg. The concussion will clear up in no time if it was as minor as he said it was and no problems arise, but the leg is going to cause problems in his day-to-day activities. Carrying his school bag, getting around his dorm room, getting down stairs, preparing food, ect… Since he has no roommate, he has no one who could help him if he had a problem, or something went terribly wrong while he was alone."

Naruto did not like where this was going.

"Fortunately, Uzumaki also does not have a roommate."

They couldn't possibly be thinking…

Tsunade smiled softly, eyes suddenly shining with slyness, mood completely changing. "I see. Then for the next month, Naruto will watch over Sasuke, and tend to his every want and need."

"WHAT!? I AM NOT GOING TO-"

"Naruto, you know as they say, you break it you buy it."

"I'm going to be sick…"

---

**A/N:** _So what do you guys thing? o: Should I continue? Potential? Should I leave it be:) Opinions would be awesome guys. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N**__: XD This one was a fun one to write. It was just.. fun. So enjoy everyone. : And don't forget to leave a review to tell me what you think! They be my motivation! No lie!_

----

Naruto felt betrayed.

No, worse than betrayed.

He felt completely and utterly alone in seeing how BAD of an idea it was. It was a horrible, stupid, disgusting idea. It was like going snowboarding naked. He would rather have cleaned the bathroom floor with a toothbrush for the rest of the year, than having Uchiha in his dorm room. The idea of having to wait on him was entirely nauseating.

For a _month_.

He predicted in less than two hours that they were going to be at each other's throats, but he had the advantage. He could outrun him.

He wondered where they would be in a month. He was almost 97 sure that he would be trying to drown himself in his own toilet before the first two days were up.

He groaned in dismay, face in his hands, wanting more than anything to hurt Kakashi very badly.

He was doing this just to spite him. He knew it. Kakashi had an evil, cunning, horrible mind. Tsunade thought that it was such a wonderful idea. She valued Kakashi's opinion over most of the other teacher's. His stepfather Iruka, another teacher in the boarding school he lived in, didn't even have to think about it for 3 seconds before he also agreed. But not before spewing out of coffee at Naruto in alarm.

Naruto had tried to reason with Iruka that he was letting his anger get the better of him, and that he should think it through first, but Iruka wouldn't hear it. By the end of the three minutes that Iruka was in the office, Naruto somehow had a lapful of Iruka's coffee. He was a coffee-spilling, pants-ruining traitor, and he longed to throw a paperweight at him. He simply told Tsunade to do what he wanted with his stepson, and walked out after firmly telling Tsunade not to allow Naruto to change his pants until that night. He attracted small, fuzzy, stray animals all day.

He wondered if it was possible to kill himself with the stapler that was staring at him from Tsunade's desk.

Two days later, he found himself in the hospital wing with Kakashi, waiting for Sasuke to be released. He had tried to get out of it time and time again, with both clever and obscene excuses and antics, but it was soon exceptionally apparent to Naruto that Kakashi was a spawn of Satan.

He put a dead fly in Kakashi's coffee the next morning.

He found himself somewhat nervous at the moment, leg bouncing up and down gently, picking at a scab on his left index finger that he noticed kind of resembled a duck. He wasn't scared of Sasuke, or what he would think of him. He already knew that Sasuke hated him, and he hated Sasuke. They were going to hate each other for the full month that they were going to be forced to spend together. They were going to spend day in and day out arguing over the last slice of pizza, trying to get back at each other for putting forks face-up in their beds, and pee in each other's coffee.

They were boys. They were rivals. It's what they did best. They were going to do anything in their power to outdo the other, and find out who was better once and for all. They were going to go out of their way to make each other miserable, even if it meant sacrificing their dignity to an unseen entity named Victory.

Naruto had come to terms that what he did was lousy and cheap, but at the same time, realized that apologizing would make no difference.

Though, maybe if he did, things wouldn't be as _completely_ horrible as the scenes that played in his head. Hell, if they were lucky, maybe one of them would come out of it alive. But that was a very doubtful 'maybe'.

He really wasn't up to dealing with Sasuke's spite at that point in time. He had come to terms with his act of stupidity that would weigh on him for a whole month, but he had a sinking feeling that seeing Sasuke in a cast was going to be just plain depressing for him. Feeling guilty pissed him off.

He was never going to be able to pee in Sasuke's coffee in peace.

He took a deep breath, and stood up.

"M' going to get something from the vending machine…" He mumbled it quietly towards his teacher, whom he _seriously_ considered disowning and maiming in his sleep, and walked down the nearest hallway to them without sparing a glance back. He turned the corner where the vending machine sat, and started digging in his black pants pockets on his way towards it.

He knew that he had quarters somewhere…

He continued to dig through his pockets, a concentrated look on his face. He let himself grin as he pulled out a handful of change, and stood in front of the machine, deciding on what he wanted to eat. Tapping his chin thoughtfully, he realized how much he really could go for a bowl of ramen. But since there was no such thing as a ramen dispenser, he decided on an overpriced package of M&M's. He would just eat when he got home, if Sasuke decided not to ruin his appetite with his 'mistress-stick-up-my-ass' attitude.

It wasn't likely.

But if he didn't eat, neither did Sasuke.

He waited just a few moments after choosing his candy, staring, waiting, watching for his package of candy-covered-chocolate to drop. But, as always on days in which fate decided to throw grapefruit in his face, it was stuck.

He shook the vending machine. Gently at first, but after a moment, shook it with enough force to knock the M&M's out of place. But they stayed where they were.

"I KNEW they glued them in place!"

He growled softly, and got on his knees in front of it. He pulled the short sleeve of his vivid orange shirt up to his shoulder, and stuffed his arm as far into the exit slot as it could go. It didn't even get close. He pushed it in even farther as if it would help in the slightest, the side of his face pressed against the machine, fingers grabbing for the nearest article of food. 

He huffed in irritation, his arm dropping limply inside of the appliance.

The grapefruit that fate was throwing at him was slowly turning into mashed peas.

Though at the moment, even those sounded kind of, sort of, maybe, _possibly_ appetizing.

He sighed, and considered getting help from one of the staff. After all, it was rightfully his pack of M&M's, and it was their fault for making it so much trouble to get. He decided to try shaking it one more time before he did that though.

He attempted to pull his arm out, but blinked slowly when it didn't budge.

He gave it another experimental tug, and felt his eye twitch when it remained stuck.

The mashed peas were now turning into wet newspaper and expired prunes.

He braced his free arm against the front of the vending machine, and gave a mighty pull, teeth clenching in effort. He stopped after a moment. His arm felt like it was about to fall off.

He twisted it around a little bit to try to loosen it up, all the while thinking of how idiotically embarrassing his current situation was. Though, the thought quickly fled as the M&M's dropped from where they were dangling, right into his hand. He grinned to himself, once again pulling and tugging to get his arm out.

----

Sasuke had insisted on using crutches, but for some reason, they were determined to wheel him out. It's not like crutches were _difficult_. But he didn't feel like fighting with the nurse, he would be back on his own soon enough.

He yawned, putting a hand to his mouth. He had hardly slept since the moment he woke up from unconsciousness.

Naruto, that idiot…

What the hell was he _thinking_?

They had always been rivals. Since the first day that he had met him, there had always been competition. They fought dirty occasionally, when the situation allowed it, but Naruto had pushed him off of a rope, too far up to be safe. His current position in the hospital proved that.

Forgiveness wasn't an option, for obvious reasons.

It was simply one of the stupidest things that Naruto had ever done, and _that_ was saying something. He already considered the blonde the biggest idiot on campus, but there was no way that he was going to let something like this slip. He vowed revenge. It would obviously be more domestic than shoving him off of the school's roof, but it would certainly get the point across.

He straightened up in the wheelchair as he was wheeled into the waiting room. He took special care in making sure that his face was impassive. Kakashi was probably the one who was picking him up to take him to his dorm, and he knew that the gray-haired man could usually see tight through him. He was in pain, and he didn't want anyone to know. Especially not Kakashi.

Just as he thought, Kakashi was in the waiting room.

Along with…

_Naruto._

Just with a single glance towards the blonde haired boy, he felt his IQ drop 9 points.

His eye twitched, as there was a flaw in his desperate attempt to keep his expression calm, and he bit his tongue to keep from lashing out.

He tried to speak, but it seemed to come out in a quiet murmur of random syllables in the back of his throat. He blamed it on the sudden IQ drop.

Kakashi cleared his throat, and spoke casually.

"So I presume you're wondering why Naruto is here."

Naruto fidgeted in his seat, trying to look confident. Sasuke noted that even when he tried to look even remotely clever, he failed.

Sasuke stared expectantly at Kakashi, waiting for him to continue. What WAS Uzumaki doing there…? An apology, was most likely thought, though it could have waited… And it WOULD have waited, had it been anyone but Kakashi who was in charge.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously. There was something going on there.

"I am…" He inwardly winced at the roughness of his own voice, but managed to keep his narrowed glare on Kakashi. Naruto was crossly fiddling with a bag of candy, as though trying not to acknowledge Sasuke's presence.

Kakashi closed his eyes and smiled calmly.

"He's come to pick up his punishment."

The contents of Naruto's M&Ms bag went flying as the bag split open from the force of his sudden pull. Sasuke hardly spared him a glance.

"His punishment being…?"

"You."

He heard Naruto growl from the opposite side of the room, as Kakashi continued to smile pleasantly. He wasn't sure what he meant, but he had an uncontrollable urge to stuff his crutch down his throat. 

He had difficulties controlling his voice.

"I-I'm not quite sure I understand…"

Kakashi stood up, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Sasuke, for the next month or so, your roommate will be Naruto."

"W-WHAT!?" It was an unexpected blow, causing an equally unexpected reaction. Sasuke Uchiha never yelled out in surprise. Never. He also never SUDDERED of all things. He stared uncomfortably, until his 'staree' looked away in discomfort. But Kakashi continued to smile, as if he was enjoying the whole process.

The sick freak…

"Allow me to make this clear to you. Naruto pushed you off of the rope in gym class. You fell, hurt your head, and broke your leg. Naruto needs a punishment, so I talked with Tsunade, and she agreed that it would be best for you to stay with Naruto in his dorm, and allow him to take care of you until you're fine on your own."

"There is no way in hell…"

Sasuke glanced at Naruto, feeling his blood pressure rising to a very uncomfortable level.

"I refuse to stay in the same room as that dim-witted, pretentious, obnoxious, juvenile CHILD."

Naruto jumped up, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. What he wouldn't give to break it off, and shove it down the blonde's throat…

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING CHILD, YOU ARROGANT MORON!"

Any apologies that Naruto was going to make were now lost in time and space.

Sasuke scoffed.

"The only child in this room, idiot."

"WELL SORRY TO SAY, BUT I SEE-"

"Now now, Ichiha, Uzumaki… Naruto, didn't you have something to say?"

"Not anymore, Sensei! If he wants to make this difficult, then fine! But I'm not going easy on him just because of his stupid impaired leg!"

"Don't worry, I don't need you to go easy on me. I will win, either way."

Kakashi's visible eye glowered. "There will be absolutely NO trickery, conflict, or intent of injuring each other for the next month. Naruto, you will watch over him, and help him with anything he needs help with. He is YOUR responsibility. Sasuke, you will respect Naruto, and be thankful that he is sharing his home with you, to make sure that you're comfortable." His tone was final, like a parent lecturing a child.

"I would rather stay at my own perfectly good home. I can only imagine what kind of environment that slob lives in… whatever it may be, it can't be good for my health."

"You shut up, Uchiha! There is nothing wrong with my dorm, so suck it up!"

Sasuke continued as if he hadn't heard him.

"Probably mold deposits everywhere… The smell of dead fish wafting through the air…"

"_It's not that bad_! Shut up!"

"The bathtub is probably filled with ramen broth…"

"You shut up right now, Sasuke!"

Kakashi grinned. "Wonderful, then. Sasuke, I already took the liberty of picking up your things from your dorm room. If I forgot anything, Naruto shall accompany you to your room to pick it up. In fact, Naruto is going to accompany you most everywhere until your leg is capable of taking a fall."

Sasuke could hardly comprehend what he was hearing.

"Y… You went into my room? By yourself? To pick up my things? No no! This is too much, too fast! I absolutely refuse! I will not stay with Naruto! He can pick up trash on the highway, or some do-gooder thing like that for his punishment, but I will not suffer with him! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself! Unlike Uzumaki, I am not an idiot! _THIS IS INJUSTICE!"_

Sasuke was on the verge of panic. He began seeing elephants in his vision, for some reason beyond him. A subliminal message, perhaps.

"Well I guess we should be on our way then. Naruto, you will push Sasuke's wheelchair." And with that, Kakashi started to walk towards the door.

Naruto glared at Sasuke, having no intention of getting near him, or his stupid wheelchair. He walked after Kakashi.

Moments later, he was shoved back into the room, Kakashi's voice following him.

"Not without Uchiha, Naruto."

Naruto looked at Sasuke through disgusted eyes. Sasuke's expression resembled his.

"If you get near me, I will _injure_ you."

Naruto blew out his breath slowly, and trekked over to him. Visions of wheel-chair races trailed through his head, as well as thoughts of losing control of the chair, and crashing him into a pile of sedatives. Life would just be so much easier…

"Forget it, Uzumaki, I can walk on my own." Naruto paused as Sasuke pulled out his crutches from where they were hanging on the back of his chair, slowly starting to get up with their help. Naruto crossed his arms, and watched, inwardly collapsing with relief. He was obviously saving them both some humiliation.

"You sure you don't need some help, you poor, injured soul?" His voice was mocking, and Sasuke tensed up at the tone.

"I will not hesitate to impale you with this, Uzumaki." He slightly lifted one of his crutches up in emphasis.

"If you can catch me, that is." Naruto grinned smugly.

"I know where you sleep."

"And I know where _you_ sleep. Which is why I have taking the liberty of hiding anything sharp or remotely dangerous. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself even more."

"We'll see who's more hurt by the end of thi-"

"Sasuke! Naruto! Hurry up so we can check out!"

They spared each other one last glare, before Naruto hightailed it out the door, Sasuke limping with the help of his crutches, cursing the whole way behind him.

----

Sasuke stared in disbelief.

Trash, ramen bowls, cups, bags, stains, plates, papers, books… everywhere.

It was an absolutely _mess. _

"No. There is no way. I didn't want to before, but this is where I draw the line. I will die from environmental poisoning. I will stay by myself, in my own room. Naruto, you have fun cleaning toilets. There is just no way I'm even taking a STEP in there."

Kakashi was staring inside the room like it was going to jump out and eat him.

"I admit that it is a little… messy, Naruto…"

"Messy? I just cleaned it!"

"Cleaned… it…?" Sasuke was in a daze. This was unreal. It was like a horror movie. There was no way that he could take a step in there and get eaten by something lurking in the shadows. It was probably infested with bugs, and small, dead animals. He would wake up one night covered in cockroaches. He could not do this. It was too gross.

He vowed to _never_ touch Naruto again.

"Yes, I cleaned it!"

"Putting a dish or two in the sink isn't really what I would consider cleaning…" Kakashi looked intrigued at the state of the dorm.

"I did more than that!"

"Well… in any case, you have some work to do. You might get a disease, or something, living in this type of surrounding. So, I will leave you two alone, and Uzumaki, you clean. Make it livable and presentable to someone else's standards. Not your own."

"NO! Kakashi! I am NOT staying here! You can't make me! I WILL NOT!"

Kakashi was rummaging around in his pockets for something.

"Let me live with someone else! ANYONE else! Even Sakura! No, wait, not Sakura…" He was slowly losing his cool. This was making him twitch inside.

"He's right Kakashi! Let him live somewhere else! It would be better for all of us! PLEASE let him live somewhere else!" Naruto was obviously close to begging.

"Aha." Kakashi paused with his hands inside of his pocket. "I have a surprise for you two."

Naruto straightened up, not quite liking the tone of his voice. "A surprise?"

"Yes… now…"

Before either of them could even blink and get away, they had a ring of metal around their wrists. Each ring was connected by a chain.

Handcuffs.

"Just until I know you two can cooperate." Kakashi's voice was calm, but his face was absolutely _smug_. "Ta." And with that, he was walking away.

Sasuke and Naruto were staring down at the contraption, a matching expression of terror on their faces.

----

_**A/N**__: x3 Hehe… Leave your love!_


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